Mi Life Is An Adventure

Mi crazy, wonderful, beautiful life.

Just Need To Sleep July 15, 2012

RAIN : The ground in dreams generally links to the facts and reality of your life. The sky generally symbolises the future and anticipation of change. Rain tends to link to things that are unsettling you.
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I’ve had a hard time sleeping lately. Not really surprising given the current state of my life.

My sleep has been littered with crazy dreams, waking crying, or with my heart about to beat out of my chest. I am often too afraid to fall back to sleep, as I don’t want to have another nightmare, or deal with whatever is lurking in the recesses of my mind.

It’s amazing how our brains process our waking life. I’ve tried my hardest to remember my dreams, I’m usually not very good at it. I think my brain isn’t letting me remember, to insulate me from my own brand of crazy.

There are some very specific things that I do remember, and they are often reoccurring.

Rain is a big one, dark skies, with rain just pouring down on me. I know I feel cold and wet and scared. I don’t remember if there is thunder or lightening. I don’t think there is though, I would remember that. I know that when I wake up from the rain dreams, I feel very unsettled. I am scared and usually upset. This is all interesting as most of the dream interpretations I’ve read have said that rain is a good thing. It symbolises renewal and fertility (HAHAHAHA – Fertility, for the Cancer Girl about to get rid of all her girly bits!!!) The interpretation in my picture seems to fit well.

If I look at the ground in my dreams, it is wet. I am usually barefoot in a deep puddle up to my ankles. But I must have expected it because my jeans are folded up. Everything is muddy, I’m not in the grass, or even really near any. I’m not necessarily in a city either, I don’t/can’t recall any concrete, just a big mud puddle.

So If I use the above interpretation for the ground part of my dream, I guess I feel mired down in the mud. Between the Cancer and Separation, I can’t seem to get out. I feel stuck, unable to make a move in any direction. I need someone to come and help me because I just can’t get out on my own…Which is FREAKING crazy…says Ms. Independent Can Do It On My Own-I Don’t Need Anyone To Save Me…yeah….maybe I do need some help?

Ok, so onto the skies in my dreams, which symbolise the future and anticipation of change…Well things aren’t looking too hot in that department either.

The sky is generally dark, lots of angry clouds, sometimes I know they are swirling around, other times, they are just big dark grey clouds. I don’t recall any wind. So again using the above interpretation, I would have to say that I am angry, scared, and feel like shit about my future and the changes that are happening. I’m wondering if when the clouds are swirly I’m digesting the movement of things forward? Shaughn moving out, the Oncology appointment? And on the days where the clouds are just dark and foreboding, if I am feeling stagnant?  They are just there raining down on me?

So, the rain tends to link the things that are unsettling to you. Well that is crap. It’s all rather unsettling don’t you think????

I am going to try to remember more dreams, I am going to do some research on how to remember them. The rain is the one steady one, I must have it two or three times a week.

Have a great Sunday….Cancer Girl, Out!

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2 Responses to “Just Need To Sleep”

  1. Oh Christa, honey, I have been so out of touch with you! I didn’t know these storms were raining down over you. My heart goes out to you. You are such a wonderful, strong, loving person, who lifts up everyone in your life and you deserve only happiness and blessings.

    I know from Carol’s experiences that just experiencing the knowledge of cancer in you is traumatic. I’m glad they have caught it early but still. It means such loss and uncertainty for you, with the surgery. When you have a date could tell us please so we can send loving healing energy your way? It’s time for you to get looked after. I’m sorry the timing of everything has come the way it has. Major suckage. You have nurtured so much love that I hope it all comes back to you tenfold now.

    Let us know if there is anything we can do. If you want to email either of us I can give you our addresses.
    You will get through all of this, I know. You are a warrior, brave and deeply rooted. But it will be a challenging journey so please let us know if we can help you at anytime ok?

    You are in our thoughts sweetie. xoxo

    • Christa Says:

      Thank You Kerri,
      This is definitely a blow, but I’m willing to take on the challeges life is handing out (A little too freely, if I do say so).
      I see the Oncologist on Monday, so right now, fingers, toes crossed, healing energy and positive thinking are all welcome!
      XO


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